Doing the right thing…
As a parent, as a woman, and generally, as a human; there are many occasions in life where I just gotta dig deep - mine it out - the ‘good thing’ to do or not to do. Many times in the past it was easy, as my brain-gut connection is pretty powerful. Others, were not so. When a situation has many directions or factors or other humans involved, digging out the nugget of righteousness can be tough. Recently, I had me such a ‘hard’ dig.
Let me tell you the story…
On my 60th birthday, I announced that I was heading for retirement. It made sense at my age to do just that. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a pharmacist and leaving my patients and my practice was very difficult; but I also love being a parent, and I am ecstatic about being a Baba (grandma)! There is something about extending one’s DNA that messes with the soul - in the very best of ways. Perhaps it’s an evolutionary process to better protect your lineage by being more present.
So, here I was on the path to Babahood when I got hit by a bus. Well, not a real bus but something really big like a bus that was a hard stop. I was derailed. My plans were thwarted. I was nipped in the bud. I was checked, foiled, and forestalled. I was heart-broken. It took me 4 months, 3 boxes of tissue, 2 Yaya sisters providing an intervention, and 1-100 page journal of grief purging to find my way from under this bus.
I’m alive. I have no broken bones or concussion, just the scars of humiliation that my plan did not succeed. The humiliation is self-inflicted, as it really does take super-human strength to survive a hit like I did. Nonetheless, my ego hasn’t caught up to commonsense just yet. Hence, a halo of humiliation remains.
More importantly though, my grandchildren are still thrilled to see me whenever I make my way to their door. I’m sorry, even though my family isn’t demanding an apology, I am sorry. I’m sorry that the “right thing” didn’t happen. I’m sorry that I left my 20 year-business along with the care that I provided for the people in my community. I’m sorry for the disruption that an averted path causes. I’m sorry that I didn’t see the “bus” coming. My sorrow is real, but I’m alive and have the super-human capacity to stand up and carry on, in spite of, or because of, it all.
And, carry on I will…..
I will carry on with my ability to care for people in my community - the community of Morden, and beyond. I will carry on with my role as Doctor of Pharmacy to go the extra mile to get it right - right for your health and for your well being. I will look forward to a new semi-retirement in the future, where I can have the best of both worlds: Baba and Dr. Lisa.
I hope those of you that trusted me with your care, will know that I’m still here and available to you, at Shoppers Drug Mart in Morden. And, I do hope to see you soon!
The lesson learned: the important right thing to do is to never give up on caring for those that you love and those that need your care, even when the path is winding.